Getting Out Of My Comfort Zone

If three years ago someone had asked me to go swimming off a catamaran in the ocean off a St. Thomas beach, down 157 feet in a submarine in Barbados, or zip-lining in the rain forest of St. Lucia I would have laughed and deflected.  And as soon as I was alone I would have sobbed.  At my highest weight. thoughts of going on such a trip and engaging in physical, public activities like these did not seem at all possible.  And frankly I didn’t even think I had any desire to do such things.

Fast forward to October 2016 when not only did I enjoy going on a 7-day Caribbean cruise,  I felt confident and strong enough to do all three of these shore excursions not to mention walking 22,000 steps around the beautiful but hot and humid San Juan before embarking on the cruise.

That's me waving on the return catamaran trip

Weeks before the cruise I had already registered and paid for the submarine trip and the catamaran excursion.  I was concerned about the ocean swim in particular because based on the trip promotional overview I knew I would need to pull myself up a steep ladder when getting out of the water.  For weeks I worked my legs on stairs, doing squats and telling my personal trainer about my concern.  But when the horn sounded that day signaling it was time to return to the catamaran, I took off swimming against the waves all the way out to it and easily climbed up the ladder.  I felt terrific, like I had really taken a big step in coming out of a shell. My face wasn't big enough for my smile on the trip back in the breeze, spray, music and sunshine.

Going down in a submarine was something I had always wanted to do, and I was very excited about it while at the same time being concerned about boarding down a small ladder and being in cramped quarters once inside.  Neither of those proved to be problems at all now, and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience.  I did, however, realize that had I been 300+lbs it would have been a very different story. Even crossing an unsteady plank between the boat that took us out into the ocean and the raised sub would have been harrowing and likely embarrassing because previously I wasn’t very steady on my feet under normal conditions let alone in a boat rolling in ocean waves. And I doubt I could have fit down the portal and ladder to descend into the sub.

The zip-lining in the rainforest came about as a spur of the moment whim.  During the “at sea” day on the ship I went to hear about the upcoming ports and activities in them, and the cruise director Marcelo (in his sexy accent) told the audience that when we got home we probably wouldn’t remember what we ate, the onboard entertainment or how we were being pampered by the crew.  But he said what would be remembered for a lifetime was doing something exciting that out of our comfort zone, that pushed our limits a little.  Then he offered a 20% discount on shore excursions, and I signed myself and my son for the zip-lining trip in St. Lucia.

 Needless to say I was very nervous as the hour grew near for this trip.  We left the port on a small open-air “bus” that wound for 30 minutes along narrow and winding roads to the base of the rainforest.  When we arrived we were suited up in a harness with clips and a handle that weighed 10lbs as well as a helmet.  It was at some point during this prep time that I asked the guide whether and how I would be able to come down if I ultimately decided I couldn’t do it, and I was politely but firmly told that was not an option, that there was no other way down.  Yikes. Lots of deep breaths and faking confidence.

After a 30+ minute informative trip up the mountain in a gondola, touring through the many layers of the rainforest we were dropped back off at the base of a hiking trail. First order of business was instructions on how to zip and stay safe, and we did a practice zip.  I found it much easier than I was expecting, and although I doubt my landing on the opposite platform was very graceful, I did it without losing my footing or getting injured in any way. 

Next we hiked up the trail a ways with two guides, both women, to the first of eight different zip-lines.  At this point I understood how there was no alternative to going ahead with the zip lines. My second zip-line trip across the beautiful sights below me was downright fun, and by the third zip I felt compelled to let out my inner Tarzan yell!  

There was one surprise I had not expected as we climbed up to a platform where a rope dangled over a ravine instead of zip line wires.  My heard started pounding rapidly, and I suddenly felt very hot as the guides explained we would be grabbing the rope to swing across to the other platform!  I did not believe I was strong enough to do it and pictured how I would be dangling there awkwardly between the two platforms thirty feet above the ground.  My son went first, easily making it to the other side, and the guides teased him about his “sexy landing.”  A few of the others in our group went next, and two of them struggled a little bit when they reached the opposite platform; I realized that if I didn’t go then I might go into panic mode.  What a leap of faith that was!  But in mere seconds I got to the other side and landed where I was supposed to be!

 I'm in the middle with sunglasses.

Later that afternoon when I got back to the ship in a hot and sweaty mess I was smiling big time.  What a wild and exciting experience!  It sounds hokey, but I now believe that saying about how really begin to feel alive when you fight through fear like I did that day.  I’m so very thankful that I was now living in a smaller body with the strength and confidence to allow me to not only do these activities but to have so much fun doing them!   

Marcelo was right; I’ll always remember these onshore excursions and the milestones they represented for me. I hope I’ll continue to be open to new experiences in the future, even if they’re out of my comfort zone.