I've lost over 880 pounds

Yes, that's what right:  eight hundred-eighty.  Instead of being a source of pride, it represents the most significant disappointment and shame of my life because I struggled desperately to lose it, and once I did see some progress I simply couldn't hold on to it very long.

Overweight since my teen years and put on my first diet by the family doctor at 13, I conservatively estimate I've lost hundreds upon hundreds of pounds over the course of 42 years.  At six times during my life I lost a significant amount but each time returned to my pre-diet weight plus some additional pounds.  I was perpetually on a diet, or over-eating between diets, and very likely started new diet regimens more than 300 times.  I don't think I could even name all the different diet plans I tried over the years.

By all other accounts I think I'm a productive and successful middle class, middle-age woman living in a large Midwest metropolitan area.  I finished college in a weekend program in my thirties, have done well career-wise and earn a consistently comfortable living.  I raised two amazing sons who are now independent adults and are also successful in their educations, careers and lives, and I remain a close part of their lives.  And if it weren't for the weight issue I might be a success story and "living the dream."

But exactly who was I fooling?  Anyone with half a brain in my life over the course of a few years or more didn't need to be told I was struggling with weight issues.  Perhaps they saw me as a wounded, suffering individual who didn't value herself very much.  The phrase "she carries her heart on her sleeve" comes to mind because I seem to be the opposite, shrouding my frame with excess weight as if to hide what was so very evident to the world.  And I did not think I could ever, not ever, make any significant and lasting dent in my weight problem.  I had all but given up three years ago.

Fast forward to 2014 when I had hit a new phase of my life.  I was well settled into my new job having been let go from Star Tribune after 29+ years. While I had always felt satisfaction from the many hats I wore there over those years, I was perpetually stressed. My new job as Business Analyst was closer to 40 hours per week and with no staff and fewer demands.  My sons were well on their way toward total independence, and I had moved out of our family home in 2012. I decided to make another weight loss journey.

I managed to piece together a customized approach to improving my health and lost 100 pounds over the course of a year. But it was a struggle every single day.

But just as I reached that milestone, and before I had adequately prepared myself to continue on the weight loss journey, I ran into a tough year.  My job heated up with longer hours and more demands, leaving me with far less personal time. And my mother nearly passed away from an infection and related complications.  I was relieved she pulled through, and I stepped up the amount of time and attention I devoted to my parents during her long recovery and moving them into a new home. While it was truly a privilege and honor to have provided this support to them during perhaps the roughest time of their lives, it took a toll on me.  The combination of my job and the situation with my parents left me with little personal time or energy, and many personal projects and needs unanswered.  Then after my mom passed away in November 2015 I was emotionally drained and totally lacking any motivation for self-care.  True to what I had experienced my entire life, I found myself back up 40lbs by the time my son married in January 2016. 

I began again to desperately search for the weight loss magic.  I re-evaluated having weight loss surgery like gastric bypass, but again reached the conclusion it wasn't right for me.  My problem was less about food and more about my brain.  Even in my darkest moments I knew could lose weight... I was a pro at it.  I knew what to eat and how much; I JUST DIDN'T DO IT.  Why in all other areas of my life did I have the will to accomplish things yet with my own body I seemed powerless?  Without fully realizing it, what I sought was freedom from spiraling out of control, the discontent in my head, and the rampant self-doubts.  I wanted to be normal with food. 

Two weeks before my February birthday I was checking my junk e-mail and by chance opened one that referenced Susan Pierce Thompson's video series on the Psychology and Neuroscience of Sustainable Weight Loss that included the Food Freedom Quiz.  The video series helped me understand that food addiction is real-- as real as alcohol or drug addiction, and what drives it.

She explained the science behind it and why willpower doesn't work. I learned that obesity is just a symptom of the addiction, and there many normal- weight people dealing with food addiction, too.  The quiz helped me realize how susceptible I was to this addiction.  I didn't know it at the time, but that click from an email was likely the most profound one of my entire life online.  I believe it saved my life both physically and emotionally. I'm finding my way through this life challenge and have lost nearly 80lbs since. And I'm still losing.  I've found the magic-- like a switch has been flipped in my head.  While I still have to work at sticking to a sensible diet, it's never been this easy before. Most importantly though is that I am on my way to being healthier, happier and freer than I have been in decades!

I'm still working toward finding my right-size body, but I feel like I've already arrived.  I'm thrilled with my progress and feel truly blessed.  I am compelled and so excited to share what I have learned with others living with the same hopelessness of yo-yo dieting and food insanity that I have.

Regardless of the number on your bathroom scale, you might feel some craziness or emotional ties to food. If so I encourage you to take the five-minute Food Freedom Quiz.  You'll enter your email address to get your results as well as access to the first of three videos in the series Psychology and Neuroscience of Sustainable Weight Loss that explains the science behind this craziness in terms you'll understand, why you haven't been successful managing it, and what you can do about it.

Each week the next video in the series will be released, and I'll be sure to post a link here. These videos are short-- about 20 minutes each-- and are not a hyped-up internet sales pitch.  There's real and valuable content here delivered by Susan Pierce Thompson with not only the credentials and the research to back her up. She's also someone who has lived the hell of several addictions her entire life.

Invest in yourself.  And if you do I'd love to hear your thoughts and feedback.  If you take the quiz and share your score with me by commenting here, email, or private Facebook message I'll share my score with you.