Too Big To Exercise

For many years I held this belief.  The thought of going to a gym or exercise class was horrifying. There would be other people there, and what would they think seeing me there?  

How about biking?  I was sure I was too big for a bike seat. I wouldn’t be able to pedal a bike with enough speed to keep from tipping over, and even if I could manage it I was sure they didn't make a bike sturdy enough to sustain my weight.  

Although swimming was an activity I truly enjoyed as a child until I hit the self-conscious teen years, I was certain I would never swim again in my life because I'd rather be caught dead than in a bathing suit.  Not even my children saw me in a swim suit in the privacy of our own backyard with the sprinkler going.  

Around age 20 I enjoyed canoeing and even owned a canoe.  But now?  What a sight that would be, and who would be brave enough to even try it with me?

Although I loved flowers and talking gardening with others, I couldn't kneel and regain my footing again to actually do any. Besides, I didn't want to be seen stooping with my huge rear end stuck up in the air!  Even taking a walk around my neighborhood seemed like something I should not subject other people to seeing.  This old joke totally applied to me:  If you see me running you'd best be running, too, because there's something scary chasing us!

It was spring around the time I had lost about 30 pounds, and having just moved into new townhouse a few weeks earlier I wanted to check out the neighborhood's park which couldn't be reached by car.  So I set out to find the park but headed back home winded and aching legs and ankles after going just a few blocks.  But back at home in my recliner I decided feeling the sun and gentle spring breeze on my skin was pleasant, and I would try to reach the park in a few days.  I'm not sure what was motivating me, but the third time I set out I reached the park and sat on a bench by the sandbox area; I was worried though about my legs carrying me all the way back home.  And little by little I’d get out walking over my lunch hour or before dinner so that by fall of that year I could consistently make a one-mile loop through my neighborhood.

One day I met a fellow over-weight friend for lunch, and she was excited about going on a beach vacation planned and paid for by her grandparents as a small family reunion.  Surprised, I said "How can you go to a beach like that and not swim in the ocean?"  She understood what I meant immediately and carefully responded that regardless of her size she was not going to miss the opportunity to swim in the ocean.  "I know you're thinking about what my family will all say, but I've decided not to care."  She was brave, followed through, and seemed to really enjoy the vacation.  

I think that was the turning point where I began mulling over in my head the dilemma of being too fat to participate in activities that would actually help me feel better and perhaps even lose weight.   Other people would see me, and what would they say?  But I started noticing more and more large-sized people engaged in outdoor activities and felt a little envious. Maybe I, too, could care a little bit less about what others thought of me.  And exactly who were "they" anyway?

That winter I started having a personal trainer come to my house once weekly.  This was a huge step but I started to feel stronger and more confident within weeks.  I kept it up, and also added an indoor fitness bike in my TV room, riding it in 5-minute stints that turned into 30 minutes within a few months.

Next spring I hit the sidewalks and trails again, and then by mid-summer I was successful at walking the two miles to my office and asking someone to give me a ride home afterwards.  I started to listen to podcasts, TedTalks or audio books which added to the experience.  

Mid-summer I had the idea to find a three-wheeled bike and strangely enough, the first specialty bike shop I called had one!  Bill's Bicycle Shop in St. Paul had a used trike with electric assist, alleviating some of my fears that I wouldn’t be able to handle hills or would tire too quickly to get myself home. It was hard to pedal but before too many tries I was able to ride it around a loop in my neighborhood to visit garage sales and even to the grocery store and back (the back basket came in handy!)

I often had to remind myself to hold my head up and cut short the voices in my head cat-calling and tsk-tsking about what an obese woman looked like out trying these activities.  Many times I’d hear people make judgmental comments as I walked by, but the shouts out of car windows while I was riding my trike were the worst. Some days those voices would get the better of me, and I'd decide to stay in, but often enough I went ahead anyway and soon found it getting easier and easier to not care what I looked like when others saw me.  Instead I felt some pride that at least I was doing something with a semblance of healthiness to it. 

For the past two summers I’ve walked two miles to and from work several times per week or to a store or restaurant.  And I’ve rekindled my love of swimming and am grateful my townhome community has a wonderful pool just blocks away. Last summer I upgraded my trike to a two-wheeler and can ride an invigorating six miles.  I participate in a small group fitness class once a week with a 3Click Fitness trainer and really miss it if my schedule doesn’t allow it.  And I went canoeing twice with my kids in August-- so cool!

It’s all been so worth it.  Since losing so much weight (159lbs now) I'm naturally more active and love it.  When I don’t get active on a daily basis I feel like my day is lacking.  And most of the time I don't even think about the fact that I'm exercising-- I'm just out enjoying the day, relaxing, or getting from one place to another.  Has this activity helped me lose weight?  Yes, I think so. But equally important are the other benefits that include increased strength and stamina, stress relief, and sunnier moods.

My Bright Line Life

So what do I eat to continue losing weight and love doing it? I’ll tell you exactly what I do as long as you promise to keep reading to get to all the benefits I’m also going to list.

I follow several boundaries referred to as “bright lines”:

• No flour of any kind including almond meal, coconut flour, etc.
• No sugar of any kind including artificial sweeteners including stevia, honey, syrup, agave, dried fruits, fruit juices and alcohol.
• Three meals per day comprised of bounded quantities eaten at roughly the same time each day; never skip a meal, no snacks.
•  Plan and commit to my meals for the next day.
• Time meals to allow for an overnight fast of at least twelve hours.

So while these bright lines might strike you as overly restrictive, there are some key benefits. And unlike other times I've diet, staying on plan is actually getting easier and easier with each passing day! I've even given up my Diet Pepsi habit with a smile on my face.

I don’t, for example, count calories or carbs or eat meal replacements, but I do eat wonderful and filling meals. 

I don’t run into situations where I’m staring into the refrigerator trying to figure out what I’m going to have for dinner or waste money on fast-food.

I engage in physical activities and exercise to improve my overall mood, increase body strength and balance, and for the enjoyment of it, not for the sole purpose of losing weight. I walked to and from work several times a week all summer because I found it was a great way to start and end my workday!  I now average 8,000 steps per day, go to a fitness class once weekly, and do strength training at home once or twice weekly.  I'm planning on trying yoga soon.

I don’t worry whether I’ll need a seat belt extender on an airplane or if there will be enough room for me to slide into a tight restaurant booth. And I do still eat in restaurants.

I don’t have achy joints, headaches or heartburn, nor have I had so much as a cold. 

I’m no longer constantly on the prowl for the next weight loss solution be it a pill, a diet or therapy.

I can go to any clothing store and find something in my size; and I’m doing that a lot lately because I’ve got to replace all my clothes from last fall and winter.  How fun is that?

And I don’t worry what my doctor is going to say about my weight or blood test results when I go in for a check-up; in fact, when I last saw her in July she hugged and congratulated me!

Bright Line Eating is about so much more than just what you do and don’t eat or how much weight you can lose.  It’s how to set yourself up for success over the long-haul by creating a healthy lifestyle with emphasis on development, self-care, emotional health and, most importantly, and being part of a supportive community of others who also finding success in managing their food struggles and addictions.  I participate in twice monthly coaching calls led by Susan Pierce Thompson. I’m in touch with a small group of women on a near-daily basis to share successes and challenges, and I participate in a very active Facebook group comprised of hundreds of women and men across the globe.  I have access to tools and materials to help me learn and be prepared in case I cross one of my bright lines.  I can reach someone on Susan Pierce Thompson’s staff with any question or need; her staff of 22 is very responsive.

I cannot emphasize enough that this is not a diet. I don’t worry about when I’ll reach my right-sized body or exactly what weight that will be, but I do know that the Bright Line program will be there to guide me forever as I maintain a happy, thin and free life.

**  Update October 9, 2016:  the video series is no longer available, and the registration for the October bootcamp has closed.  I'll update here when the video series is available again. The next bootcamp is likely to be January or February 2017.  **

If you’re interested in learning more about Bright Line Eating I encourage you to get it straight from the founder, Susan Pierce Thompson, in her video Rewire Your Brain For Food Freedom.  This is the 3^rd video in her series The Psychology and Brain Science of Sustainable Weight Loss.  She’ll explain more about the Bright Line Eating and why it works. She also provides info about the quickly approaching October bootcamp which is how I got involved and kicked off my weight loss.  

The bootcamp registration will be open for only a few days beginning Monday, September 26^th.  The registration period is short because the bootcamp is an intense, high-touch program that can only accommodate a certain number of participants.  

You might be wondering about the price to get started; I’ll let Susan deliver that information.  I didn’t know it when signing up of course, but seeing where I am today compared with February, I would have gladly shelled out three times this much! So realize it might be the very last time you spend money on a weight loss solution. In addition, since I’m now a “Bright Lifer” I’m able to offer any family, friend or acquaintance a $150 discount; just get in touch with me before the registration deadline. I'd love to be your buddy as you start your bright life!

The Food Freedom Quiz which includes the 1^st video in the series and the 2^nd video are still available for a few more days; I’ve included links to them in the right siderail of this blog page.

Willpower And Weight Loss

Countless times I would proclaim that I'm going to start making better food choices and stick to a plan once and for all.  I'd get all organized about it, trying to get myself psyched up for "day 1", and I could generally get through three or four days of making healthy choices morning, noon and night. But as Friday approached I'd feel myself slipping, relying on snacks during the day to prop myself up, the fast food drive-thrus looking more and more tempting than the dinner foods I already had at home, and often feeling unsatisfied after I'd already eaten dinner to the point of returning to the kitchen to find a snack.

Sometimes I'd make it through the weekend and somehow feel energized enough to continue sticking to my new food plan right through that second week.  But instead of getting easier, it felt like I was pushing a boulder uphill all the way.  I'd feel tired of it, deprived, and asking "why me?"  It seemed that with each new day I could get off on the right foot with breakfast and even do well at lunch time, but by late afternoon and certainly by dinner time I would start to cave. Soon enough my choices would just spiraled back to my poor but familiar old habits.  By this point my inner voice was not only giving me permission to eat whatever I wanted at meals or snack time, it also seemed to urge me to indulge more because, after all, I'd been so "good" in the hours or days prior.

So then I would also feel blindly upset and disgusted with myself. I felt inept, unworthy, and in a very blue mood.  I'd say to myself over and over some variation of this: "You're a fairly intelligent, motivated and goal oriented person in many other aspects of your life so what the heck is WRONG with you?!"

**  Update October 9, 2016:  the video series is no longer available, and the registration for the October bootcamp has closed.  I'll update here when the video series is available again. The next bootcamp is likely to be January or February 2017.  **

When I watched the second video in Susan Pierce Thompson's free series I finally understood what was going on and why I couldn't stick to a plan even though intellectually I knew how vital it was to my long-term well-being. In this video she points out that I mistakenly thought my willpower would get me through until new, good eating habits would be instilled. She helped me realize that there is nothing wrong with me!  Instead the assumptions I had about how to diet and make good choices would not and could not work for me and in fact were often working against me.

Click here to watch this video.

When you go on a diet do you end up in a cycle similar to what I was?  Do you find you just can't seem to "be good" over the long-haul no matter how committed you were at the start?  Do you attribute all your extra weight to those late afternoon snacks or night-time eating as a way to unwind after a long day?  If so, this video titled "Don't Make The One Mistake Most People Do When Trying To Lose Weight." will likely uncover the fatal mistake you're making. While this video is about 40 minutes long, it's worth the time investment as no doubt you'll have a few "a-ha!" moments and be able to see the cycle of "good" and "bad" choices (what I like to refer to the "hamster wheel of dieting") in a new light.  And like me, you'll probably end up feeling better about yourself just from having the truth shared in this video.

The first video "Conquer Your Hunger and Cravings" is still available, and you can reach it by taking the Food Freedom Quiz.  Yes, you need to provide your email address, but you can opt out anytime, even right after you've watched the video.

Thank-you for reading this and hearing my story. I received many comments from my first post and feel so humbled and grateful for each and every one of you!